The Dance

As God sits enthroned above the heavens and earth He takes me in all of my filth and selfishness and asks me to dance with Him.  He leads me in rhythm to the music of His whispers.  I hold Him tight as we dance through the poverty, brokenness, disease, and pain in Haiti.  The dance gives my spirit the capacity to fully feel…He speaks and I move…fear is defeated as we glide, leap, and twirl together.  I love this dance.  This dance puts forgotten orphans in my lap.  I hug them and kiss them.  The music never stops…I still hear His whispers…He picks me up and we keep dancing.  He spins me until I start laughing.  I don’t know where the dance will lead me next or how it will end but I can tell you all about the part of the dance I’ve already danced. 

We danced through many precious moments during this last visit to Haiti.  Yes, I soaked them in deep.  The dry cracked places were filled.  A man and a woman became one flesh.  New believers were baptized in the name of Jesus.  The stars rejoiced and sparkled like diamonds high in the clear dark Haiti sky.  My little princess, Kali with a heart abandoned to Jesus loved with her child sized faith as though she was with a people and culture she has always known.  Joy that you can see with your eyes erupted when the hungry were fed.  Happiness transpired when the once forgotten orphans realized someone remembered them.  My mommy heart choked out the words of Jesus over our Raphaella and Wana as I left them in the orphanage once again:  “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”

God’s goodness was evident in multiple ways but if you were to ask me what the single most defining moment I experienced on this trip was…what part of the dance I treasured the most…my answer would be Ismael. 

I love every single one of Pastor Nahum’s orphans with a wild extravagant Jesus kind of love.  It’s ridiculous really…how could I possibly love another?!

Let me just tell you!

It didn’t happen in a big event or with lots of people watching.  But that’s God…He moves in the most unexpected places and in the most unforeseen ways.  If it were not for God’s grace I would have completely missed this whole beautiful part of the dance. 

I was sitting alone on the edge of the orphan home foundation.  Three or four of Pastor Nahum’s orphans joined me.  Ismael was there.  He's wearing the red shirt.

Ismael is the defenseless among the defenseless.  Not only is he orphaned he nearly died not long ago…even today he is extremely weak.  This is his story:  His father died and his mother had no means to feed him...sadly a common reality in Haiti.  He is 4 years old but just the size of a 2 year old.  Pastor Nahum got him in November and has been feeding him formula every day to help boost his immune system and restore the nutrients he needs.  His lethargic frail skeleton is slowly regaining strength.  He still seems very tired but will play soccer sometimes now with the other boys.     

He didn’t really know me very well and I did not yet know much about him.  I looked at Ismael…sort of just going through the motions at first because it was later in the afternoon and my energy was lacking.  But God whispered to my soul…he needs you.  Love him.  Take him in your arms.  Give him My love. 

So I took the next twirl in my dance with my Daddy.  I scooped up Ismael’s tiny body and placed him in my lap.  He welcomed my embrace and right then and there I could feel that this little boy was about to change my life.  As soon as we locked eyes I forgot the rules of guarding my heart.   

Transparent and unprotected, I fully exposed my heart and then it happened.  The love of Jesus rushed in pulsing violently through every bit of my being.  Ismael’s shimmering eyes put me in a daze.  The whole wide world faded and it was just me and Jesus and Ismael.   How can a 4 year old little orphan steal my heart like this?  It was a lovely part of the dance.  He rested his head on my chest and in my soul I made him mine.  In Creole I spoke softly asking him, “Do you know how much God loves you?”

His eyes were drawn back to mine and with a flutter of his beautiful eyelashes; he smiled a smile that cut me straight through.  He shook his head up and down to say yes.

“Do you know I love you?”

Another heart melting smile graced his precious brown face.  He knew I did.  Then in a faint whisper he said I love you too and I knew he meant it from his tiny little 4 year old heart.

The look.  

The bond.  

The love.   

In one unforeseen supernatural flash I saw the face of Jesus.    

Haiti isn’t easy but it’s where I dance with God and it’s how He fills my life with meaning, bliss, and love.     

Even if I had not already given my heart to Haiti and even if I didn’t know anyone else there…I would go back for Ismael.  He’s small, he’s 4, he’s an orphan, he has nothing to offer me …but he’s mine.  He's a treasure that God says has eternal value.  I can’t get him out of my mind.  I love him deeply.  The dance continues...