Today I'm Mad

2 of our twin daughter's brothers:  Simeon and Oldo...their uniforms still fit so they get to go to school. (Picture was taken today)

A single tear falls.  And then another and another.  Tear soaked tissues form a small white mountain to the left of my laptop.  I’m chatting with Pastor Nahum and I’m steaming mad.  I cry when I’m mad, always have.  I’m absolutely furious because I can’t wrap my head around the disparity of how we live here opposed to how they live there and on days like today when I find out that our twin's oldest brother, Lenel, is not in school because his daddy couldn't afford to buy him a uniform, shoes, paper and books—I just want to scream—“NO!”  This is not okay!  Two full weeks of school have passed and Lenel hasn't gone a single day and I didn't even know.  Oh this is so NOT okay.  Nothing about this is okay.  This was the exact life our Raphaella and Wana were born into...Lenel is their oldest brother.  By God’s grace our girls were pulled out of the dark pit of poverty and now they live like this… 

But what about Lenel?  Does his life not matter as much simply because he is infected with poverty? 

Lenel outgrew his school uniform and shoes so he's not going to school 

Today I’m chatting with Pastor Nahum and the whole seeking justice thing pulses harder than ever through my blood—tears are falling and I’m fighting mad.  I don’t have warm and fuzzy words for you today.  I’m not in the mood to concern myself with stepping on the toes of those of us living in abundance where our kids go to school in designer clothes and spend more money on their snacks from vending machines than Lenel’s dad makes working the fields in one day. 

Leon (Lenel's daddy)

I know that Pastor Nahum is doing everything he possibly can to keep his school alive and available for all of the children living in gross deficiency in his village but he can only do so much.  I know this but I'm not the most mature when I'm mad so I type hard on the keys and I tell Pastor Nahum how mad I am at their insufficiency today (as if my little outburst is even slightly helpful).  Pastor Nahum, always the calm and collected one,  types gentle and we are so close that I can hear his voice in those words typed out in his native Creole.  He tells me not to worry.  He says he’s going to make a plan to get Lenel in school on Monday and then he asks me to do something.  He asks me to do what I already do every day.  He wants me to show the people here in America the needs of his children.  He wants me to be their voice.  And I promise him I’ll never stop voicing the reality of their lives.  But it all makes my stomach twist in knots.  I feel the way I felt when I wrote this post.  Because really, if  you could hear Pastor Nahum’s faith in his voice and the hope he has—he wholeheartedly believes the 1^st world Christians will make small sacrifices for his 3^rd world village of suffering children.  He believes it and I want to believe it too.  I've seen glimpses of the beauty of God using His church to meet the needs of the poor and I want to believe there is more of this beauty out there.  

He tells me, “Try to make the people understand the situation of my people in Haiti and see if they will change their minds and try to help some.”  These words, coming from the one I love, crying out for help—they make me hurt.  I whisper out, “Please, Jesus,” behind my laptop screen and then type back slowly to him, “Yes papa, this is what I am doing but it is only God who can open eyes.”

All of these posts I've been writing are not a campaign for a bigger and better ministry.  These words are a plea for the children in Pastor Nahum’s village who literally cannot go to school without our help.  Pastor Nahum still needs $500 a month to keep Gilbert Christian School available to feed 200 children physically, academically, and spiritually.  The stories I voice and all of these words are a plea from my heart for Lenel and his classmates because this school is critical for them.  Today I’m mad because Lenel and many other children like him missed the meal at school today because they can’t afford uniforms and supplies to attend.  

The children who were able to attend school today were served soup for lunch...this is a blessing from the Lord!

Pastor Nahum wants to use the support to provide these things for all of his beloved children in his village to give them the hope an education can offer them in Haiti and right now I'm praying all of what I've said today makes you mad too…mad enough to do something about it.  Click here,scroll down to Gilbert Christian School Sponsorship and become a monthlysponsor.  Your $30 a month will save these kids’ lives!!  

Only God can open eyes.  God, hear my prayer.  Will you open eyes today?  Please.  Amen.