This is not where I belong

When you’re 15 years into your marriage and all of your vehicles and home appliances have long past their 10 year life expectancy they simultaneously start killing over in unison...I can tell you it’s pure evil.  I’m certain you don’t care but writing is therapeutic for me so I'm just going to unload pity party style.  Look the other way if you wish ;)  

In no particular order here's a limited list of things that equally frustrate me:  Our van (aka the mystery machine) shines it’s bright orange engine light in our face when we turn the key to start it up and it doesn’t stop shining until we turn it off.  It also flashes this other red light telling us to “check gages” while the arrow on the oil meter plunges hard to the left every single time we apply pressure to the break. Obnoxious is an understatement!  Our home AC guy put in 3 pounds of Freon in our AC unit this morning and on the receipt he drew a huge caution asterisk symbol next to words written in all caps that read, “AC UNIT IS RUNNING AT MAXIMUM AMPS!”  Apparently that’s not a good thing.  Our refrigerator has been leaking water for nearly two years now and surprisingly I’m fine with that…it’s just water on the floor.  But a few days ago it went all sorts of wicked on us and altogether stopped cooling our food on the fridge side…rude!  Butter became mush and that just made me mad.  My shopping basket was filled with things like brown sugar oatmeal, hot dogs, diapers, and milk when the phone rang today.  It was Trey.  He wanted me to call our septic system guy because stuff from our septic was overflowing outside and we aren’t septic tank experts…okay, let’s be real…we’re not experts in anything, but clearly what was going on here was not a sign of a properly functioning septic system and we were going to need some help. Is it even legal to have the AC guy and septic guy come to your house on the same day?! On my way home from Wal-Mart with one hand on the steering wheel and the other doing the snake out my open window since that's what you do when your air condition doesn’t work in your other vehicle (akaTrey’s pick-up), I drove home with Building 429 blasting “Take this world and give me Jesus…This is not where I belong!” with lots of melodramatic emphasis on the “THIS IS NOT WHERE I BELONG” part.  Then I laughed out loud at our malicious flashing orange “check engine soon” light on the dashboard of Trey’s truck…you know cuz if I didn’t laugh I quite possibly would have needed to pull over to have myself a full blown melt down on the side of the street.  That could have been ugly and embarrassing...not to mention dangerous.

Now I’m home.  Inhaled deep.  Prayed and asked God fix all of our evil possessed vehicles and appliances.  I just looked out the window…Our septic guy came quick to the rescue.  He was on his knees next to our tank with the lid off and twisting wires together…Trey was sitting in a chair next to this scene appearing to be an interested observer but I know full well he was in desperate prayer mode.  Please God, make this guy work magic on our septic and let it only cost $10.  Something like that. 

And so yeah, for a brief moment today the collection of all of our worn down misbehaving vehicles and appliances had me secretly wishing I had gone for the latest and greatest and kept in step with the American Dream a little better. 

But that moment vanished instantly when I was unloading the groceries.  Raphaella came running into the kitchen to bear hug my leg while her dark brown eyes begged for mine to notice her.  I noticed.  Perspective changed.  The eyes of my soul refocused.  God rescued me again with new grace at just the right time.  At the brink of the world seducing me to have a love affair with her and me tempted to look back like Lot’s wife, the lovely mystery of God’s love crashed in on my pity party through the eyes of my little Haitian baby girl.  Of course that triggered the faces of Pastor Nahum’s orphans and everyone in Raphaella and Wana’s home village to flood my mind…in that lowliest of places a soothing peace settled.  That place, these people, this love…His plan, His redemption, His kingdom.  “Don’t be afraid, little flock, because your Father delights to give you the kingdom.”  (btw Luke 12 rocks!) 

Funny how it happens…you know all that stuff we read in God’s word about seeking His kingdom first and everything else works out?  It’s true. 

In the midst of our stuff falling apart God’s kingdom is still expanding and in His divine grace He continues to invite us to participate in it.  He is faithful.  There’s a shocking beauty you can’t even imagine found where the least of these dwell and I’m not looking back…because this is the kind of beauty revealed when we don't look back...

our little Wana bear :)

It's wonderfully ridiculous...I’m pressing on to follow my Jesus deeper still.  

We are $2595 shy of making Pastor Nahum’s feeding program a reality for his 200 school children.  This $2595 separates these children in Raphaella and Wana's home village from a daily life-saving rice meal packed full of protein and vitamins needed to help reverse their signs of undernourishment.  Click here for more details about our Feed Them project.  The invitation is open…it's true what Building 429 sings, "this is not where we belong" but while we're waiting for God to take us Home He wants us to walk like Jesus did...we can love these kids recklessly and see the often overlooked beauty of His kingdom here on earth.  You can donate now on the right sidebar of this blog.  All glory to God who teaches us to defend the least of these, love justice, care for the orphans, walk in mercy, and love sacrificially. 

Please say a special prayer for Pastor Nahum, his orphans and children, his school children, and the people of his village.  Thank you!!