He Sang

Pastor Nahum~9/18/2012  Every once in a while he'll send a picture to show me that he is okay :)  

Who can breathe under the weight of all these needs?    

I’ve never been known to properly follow the rules of setting aside emotions.  Full of sorrow, rocking slow back and forth on our wooden porch swing a few evenings ago, I look out at the sunset.  Griping my phone, I shouldn’t do it, not when feelings are so fierce, but I do.  I call him.  He answers and with no filter I empty out rapid and honest.  “Oh papa, it’s too painful to know all of this.  It hurts to see you and mama like this…and the children, all of the children so helpless, and all the needs…so many needs…too many needs.  Knowing what you need but unable to give it you...oh, I can’t even stand it.”  I hoped to hear the children noisy happy in the background but it was already 9 pm in Haiti and they had all gone to bed.  It was just quiet.  Then Pastor Nahum whispered to my ear, “I understand.”  

I felt so foolish.  Of course he understands.  Every single word I had just choked out to him was a summary of his very own hard life.  He’s the one waking up every morning faced with gross deficiency and attempting to make it through another day while countless needy children turn to him for help.  He didn’t need me offering up a recap of his reality.  He gets it.  But I believe in that moment somehow him knowing I was carrying his burdens and feeling a level of his pain wrapped him up in Jesus love.  All this love in action, a laying down of our lives, taking up our cross, passing from death to life. 

His voice cheered, like he held the secret to wipe away the grief and he was happy to share the secret.  When he spoke, I could hear the smile on his face and that alone was healing. 

“Pitit mwen, let’s do something…”  What exactly did he want us to do?  Like teaching me how to play a fun game, he said, “Let’s look at everything God has done.”  And then without even giving me a chance to join in he rattled off a lengthy list of things including the adoption of our twin girls, the provisions for his medical care, food for the children, the rooms added to his house, the water well, the solar panels…

Now his joy could not be contained and he was giving it to me, “Oh yes, pitit mwen, remember these things and you will be happy.  Do you know there is a song we sing in Haiti that I really like?  I will send you the page number so you can see it for yourself because it’s in the Haitian Creole Hymal I gave you.”   

He was sitting in a chair in his bedroom near his bed where mama lie listening silently, every ounce of her energy used up from her long day of work.  Oh how she works and the work she does is hard and she is getting older.  Her fatigued body lay there heavy, draining into the bed.  Then the most unexpected beautiful thing happened.  With mama right there, my papa started to sing this song he loves.  His voice strong, beautiful, and bare, “Compte les bienfaits de Dieu….”  I pressed the phone close to my ear and soaked it up.  I didn’t want it to ever end.  The words he sang were saying to count the blessings of God, to put them all before your eyes and while you worship you will see how great in number they are.  He sang and I couldn’t believe how my soul overflowed joy.     

Does he even know how precious he is, how much I love him?!  He could never know how much I absolutely adore the way he serves and loves Jesus there in Haiti.

Will you pray for Pastor Nahum, and his children, and his school?  The school is a huge burden for Pastor Nahum at this time.  He knows what an education means to children in Haiti and he wants to offer this blessing to them.  Please consider helping Pastor Nahum keep his school opened.  You can click here to set up an easy and secure $30 automatic monthly payment that will go directly to the needs of Gilbert Christian School.  

"This is how we have come to know love:  He laid down His life for us.  We should also lay down our lives for our brothers.  If anyone has this world's goods and sees his brother in need but closes his eyes to his need--how can God's love reside in Him?"  1 John 3:16-17